Farmyard emergency!

We just heard an almighty shout from Dad.  Don't panic Mr Mainwaring!  He hadn't driven into anything...he'd dropped his mince pie.  A little quiet on the blog recently, but this little tale should reassure you all is well at the farm.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from all at Lower Dairy Farm!

We hope you enjoy your Christmas dinner as much as this...Manners!

Who's Your Daddy?

Our crossbred herd ranges from the stately Queenie to the gormless but lovely No. 100.  Each have their own merits, from producing smashing calves, size and build, to a good nature, or occasionally they're just a cow to which we're very attached.  Whatever they may claim, every decent farm has one or two of these. We do not keep a bull on the farm (Thistle, a substantially built cow, is often mistaken for one from afar), but instead, browse the Genus Beef Directory to choose a sire for our calves.  When choosing a bull the most important factors for us are high calving ease, strong growth rates and calf quality.  We do this by looking at the Beef Sire Index which compares the individual bull to the breed average.  Smaller calves that grow fast are ideal in our system, although recently we've produced some monsters!

Currently, we use two bulls: the mighty Hereford, Solpoll 1 Ferrari, and the lively Aberdeen Angus, Nightingale Ploughman.  Ploughman has reached the 'legendary' status of 'Diamond Sire' with over 100,000 calves in his beef sires proof.  He's a busy bull.

I favour giant, dopey Herefords; Dad favours Angus' - you have to watch him when he's by the AI flask or else we'd have 100% Angus calves.  To celebrate our latest batch, and to see if you think Dad got his way, it's Game Time!  Put your observation skills to the test in our "simple" matching challenge:

Answers below.  And for those who need a helping hand: the mothers include two heifers, a giant, a "slow to regain her figure" cow, and a brown one who likes to kick.  No need to thank me.  A pat on the back if you scored 5-out-of 5 - or a kick in the case of Crispin (E).

Answers: 
Hereford: A (wingnut ears - dead giveaway!), B, E.  
Angus: C, D

Nice but dim

On Thursday, we retrieved this lovely, but dim calf from a water tank.  After climbing out, he peed on me, demonstrating his Blue Flag-esque clean water credentials, and making me a pollution hazard in the catchment zone of a watercourse.

Which brings me to a request from @FarmerCharles on Twitter this week:  "What was that cake with apostles all over it that I was going to try?"  I had intended to start said cake with apostles all over it, a Simnel Cake, that night but, well, hygiene first.

Simnel Cake - as styled by Marguerite Patten

In the matter of the Taylor-Nicholson Simnel Cake, we use our Christmas cake recipe; a great excuse to eat Christmas cake more than once a year.  Choose your favourite fruit or Dundee cake recipe, and sandwich a layer of marzipan in the middle of the batter.  When cool, brush the top with jam and add a circle of marzipan and twelve balls to represent the apostles, minus Judas.  Brown the marzipan under the grill or using a blowtorch (perhaps not the one that lives on the farm, and no, the dehorner won't do).

The thing to remember, is that twelve balls are insufficient; '70s decorations are compulsory.  If it's good enough for Marguerite, then it's good enough for your Easter table.  And be warned: Don't melt the apostles (grilling in the Aga can be hit and miss)!  Marguerite will know.

Calf-fest

It wouldn't be right to get through the year of 'C', in the Stour Valley, without a Constable.....seen here on the left, or possibly the right, with his sister, Constance

Unfortunately, it has become clear that the twins spent a very long nine months together, and now avoid each other at all costs.  Sharing an udder is just about bearable, but whilst I was hoping for adorable curled up together photos, instead, we have anti-social siblings.Constable, seen here in a melodramatic, artistic funk.  And Constance, proving she is not your typical heifer, but something of a hard nut.This picture makes me want to name them 'Bianca and Ricky', but sadly we are in the year of 'C',  and the naming baton was set pretty high with previous twins called 'Mikhail and Raisa'.  A definite step up from our first, Daisy and Maisy, but Jo is still upset the Gorbachevs did not reply to the birth announcement sent to the Kremlin.

Fortunately, the twins have an ever-increasing pool of alternative playmates.  No 100's large bull calf can be seen here relaxing in the sunshine behind the lovely Clara.

This calf was one and a half weeks late and No. 100 is yet to regain her former barrel-slim figure.  Who knew she could get any wider?  It may be necessary to use a panorama setting for her next photo.

If No. 100's calf is not to the taste of our fussy twins, an Angus cross arrived yesterday to a very grumpy cow who does not want to share, let alone allow photos of her calf.  She was a nightmare for her first calf, good with the next, and is now verging on difficult; which begs the question, why are we breeding from her?  The twins won't be playing with this one for a while!  Photos soon when the hormones have died down a little.

You may be thinking, "..that sounds like an awful lot of calves!", and you would be right.  However, Dad is intent on proving his AI credentials, and we have another two due this week, and more on the way.

Helen and I believe this is Dad's subconscious telling him block calving is the way forward...listen to your inner voice Dad...and pray not too many double up!

Happy Birthday Angelo!

Our friendly, bale tossing, immovable teddy bear is one year old today!

Still as mischievous as ever, he is yet to grow out of following the JCB out of the yard, making sure to stay on Dad's blind side, for a little frolic.  Not very angelic behaviour.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from Lower Dairy Farm!  Stay safe in the wind, rain, flooding and whatever else the weather conjures up!

Boo

Introducing Baby Boo, our new arrival complete with H&S approved white flash.  Yard safety for dark winter nights!

Blitzen

Father Christmas, worry not!  Our latest Caribou calf, Blitzen, joins the elite LDF Sleigh Backup Team. He's brought his friend Donner along too, with amazing thunder clouds rolling across the valley today.It promises to be a noisy evening.  But worry not, good news for Humph's sartorial followers...the woolly hats and dungarees are BACK!  Autumn is officially here!

Introducing Ballerina...

Queen of all she surveys...like her Mother, Queenie:

And with legs like Darcey Bussell - hence the name!Definitely a keeper!